and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
