I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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