dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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