Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
