She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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