i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
