Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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