Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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