As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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