First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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