I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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