I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Houston, we have a blender
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
