What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize