i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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