ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
