We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
cat food counts as protein by the way
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
