The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize