doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
it's like heaven, but drunker
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
