I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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