I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
