Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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