i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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