what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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