everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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