Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize