I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I can tuck mytits in my pants
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
