We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I think your dad took our porno
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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