I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
