just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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