The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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