she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
