Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize