Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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