:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
