I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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