I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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