I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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