you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
