There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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