Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
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