Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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