Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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