well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
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Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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