Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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