So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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