I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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