3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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