it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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