I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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