This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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