He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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