i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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