Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
