Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
