Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
