like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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