Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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