the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize