The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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