Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Randomize
