haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
