does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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