you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
