Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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